Appa's Thoughts

Fail post?

2009-11-04T17:30:22Z

Some Broadway songs drive me crazy with how catchy they are. I tend to prefer Sondheim's tunes such as those in Into The Woods or Pacific Overtures, but lately I've been stuck on a few Avenue Q songs, which I can really blame AMVs for. Every so often I'll find myself singing or humming "It sucks to be me... It sucks to be me..."

Darn it! They're just so catchy!

----

Anyway. I have no talent with LJ design.

Actually, the current layout I have was something I made someone else do, and I don't even like it much. I had been hosting a picture for it on Geocities, and even though I knew Geocities was going to disappear, I didn't do anything. I wouldn't know how to do anything anyway.

But I still like using my own pictures on my journal, so---would anyone with a little more know-how mind helping me out with making my journal a bit more cohesive and showing me where I can change things so that it can grab an image hosted elsewhere? Depending on how much effort it takes (like I said, I have no idea), there might be a fanart reward in it for whoever helps me out (feel free to mention this to friends who might be interested).

.....Please?

Yes, that ending would drive some people Berserk

2009-11-01T00:22:33Z

Had myself a little anime marathon this weekend. Just now finished Berserk, which I was thoroughly enjoying...

until the ending.

It was like... SERIOUSLY!?!?!? You're ending it THERE!?!?!?

....guuuhhh!!!!!!!

*goes back to rewatch first episode now that it'll make more sense*

EDIT: And... that didn't help much. Woah. I can't say it was a bad ending... well, I certainly can, but huh. I guess that ending had the effect they wanted it to.

As for my "guess who dies first and when" game, I was mostly right with my more general predictions, but they sure surprised me on just how most of them were going to go. Still, I've got this hint of a plot bunny that says "But ****** might still be alive! We didn't see him die, they just implied it... although, he sure was asking for it."

I'm sure this AMV is going to be a lot funnier to me now:

Taking a quick moment to be chill out--bloody Shounen manga style

2009-10-30T20:51:08Z

Life is crazy. This is a given, we might as well get over it. Anime is still fun for those moments you can afford it.

I've been craving something that feels "old" or "classic" lately, so I'm borrowing Berserk from a friend. Six episodes in and I'm really enjoying it so far, it's good quality. Still, there's this urge to guess what kinds of ends each of the characters will meet. I'm playing a game with myself to see if I can predict which of the supporting characters will die first and how late into the series.

Also still enjoying the Mirai Nikki manga. The plot is intricate enough between each of the episodes that it keeps from being formulaic, and I've found something I've liked in almost all of the characters. I find it scary to admit that I'm actually a bit of a fan of Yuno. o_o;; Funny, because she'd typically turn me off from a series entirely.

And I guess that's my update. Off to another unproductive meeting.

I spent enough hours on the book, I didn't need to spend the extra three

2009-10-27T17:35:52Z

I read Toni Morrison's novel Beloved for class. Once you get the hang of her style it's a good read, I think. Not one of my favorites, but it did keep me interested.

We had to watch the movie for class, too. One of my classmates and I took care of this last night, and wow... it was long and painful and just the fact that I can only associate the lead actress's face with fortune, it felt like a huge waste of my time. Didn't expect it to be quite so long either, and wound getting home pretty late, and getting a huge migraine (can I blame the red strobe light effects?).

So. Bleh. If you're interested in this title--not that I'd push anyone in any way or the other about the book--then skip the movie.

Sefuru has escaped me again.

2009-10-26T16:20:48Z

You might recall that about a year ago, I had a Sefuru dangle on my backpack which, because it was made of a kind of fabric, fell off somewhere in the depths of the Japanese train systems.

I was quite saddened, but I found a metal Sefuru dangle later, which I liked quite a bit, and had been using it on my key chain. I don't typically use many dangles at all, but I tend to get pretty attached to the ones I do use.

And today I have just discovered that the metal link broke and this Sefuru has run away too. >_____< My happy little Dragon I've had for a few years was attached to that, too, and now it's gone, too.

I know Sefuru probably wouldn't like hanging around with someone like me, but this is a little mean.

EDIT:

Found it!! Turns out it wasn't the Sefuru link that broke, it was the fused metal on part of the Dragon. Anyway, yay! I still have it to try to figure something out with it.

Why do I not have a Boku-Tama icon?

2009-10-26T00:31:24Z

So!! Went out to Mitsuwa in Chicago today (always a long-anticipated trip), and they did not have new volumes of the manga I was looking for, but that DID have a 35th anniversary tribute to Please Save My Earth. ^_______^ It's got eight side stories from guest authors. Tee hee... most of them are Alice/Mokuren//Rin/Shion focused, but there's a Mode/Mokuren one, a Sakura/Issei one, an original character one, and a very short Haruhiko one from Hiwatari-sensei.

Kyaaahahaha. I shall enjoy it bit by bit.

爱情的故事: Love Story

2009-10-23T02:34:37Z

一个很害羞的男孩，叫小明，看到了他的很安静同学，叫梅林，就很喜欢她。小明紧张得不会请梅林当他的女朋友，可是他们慢慢地成好朋友。他们常常一起学习，一起去学校餐厅一边吃午饭一边开玩笑。小明越来越开始爱她，但是他不知道怎么告诉她。
最终，小明想一个想法：他瞒梅林他请教她怎么请很可爱的小姐陪他去晚会。然后，小明就做梅林所说。可是，他问她的时候，梅林说，“太棒了！其实，我被怎么告诉小张我喜欢他困扰了。咱们可以帮彼此。”
听者她的答案，小明很痛苦了。

Of all the random very short things to have to write for homework, we were told to write LOVE STORIES!

Translation:
A bashful boy named XiaoMing saw his quiet classmate named Meilin and immediately liked her. XiaoMing was too nervous to ask her to be his girlfriend, but they slowly became good friends. They frequently studied together, and ate lunch while joking around together in the school cafeteria. XiaoMing little by little started to love her, but didn't know how to tell her.
Finally, XiaoMing had an idea: He would pretend to ask her for advice about how to ask a cute girl out to a party. Then, he would do as she said. But when he asked her, Meilin said, "That's great! Actually, I've been puzzled about how to tell XiaoZhang that I like him. We can help each other out."
Hearing her answer, XiaoMing was pained.

Meme from Artemis

2009-10-21T05:09:29Z

YOU:
1. Name: (or nickname)
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my journal?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. What do you love at the moment?:
10. Favorite place to spend time:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND:
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:
4. An anime:

PLUS:
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you.

Heh heh heh heh heh heh... take THAT.

2009-10-19T01:05:05Z

Over the past four days, I wrote a 31,829 word work of original fiction, beginning to end.

And I played with a 6-week-old kitten.

Writer's Block: Come here often?

2009-10-17T17:57:20Z

What's the best pick-up line you ever heard (or tried)? What's the worst? If you're instantly attracted to someone, will a stupid pick-up line dampen your interest?

Submitted By downfall35

View 721 Answers

To me:
"The room is brighter now that you're here. I could tell you came back to campus because the flowers are blooming again."
(The best part is that these lines were fed to him by another guy at the table.)

I had a good laugh over that.

____

I've spent the last two days writing, writing, writing, yelling in angry Chipanglish, walking aimlessly, reading, barely avoiding a trip to the emergency room for a bloody nose which wouldn't stop (did you know Attila the Hun died of complications from a bloody nose?), and eating not very healthy food. Just doing my best not to go stir crazy out here. But hey, I have 15,958 words down so far. Let's see how far I can get before Monday.

karaoke is good for the soul

2009-10-16T03:24:53Z

Apparently, my regular fiction speed is much slower than my fanfiction speed. Maybe if it were more humorous I would type faster.

12-chapter manga are refreshing

2009-10-14T15:46:35Z

Yoshizumi Wataru's "Spicy Pink" is a nice dose of disillusionment. ~__~ Last night I was talking casually with a friend, and again got the whole "you must write a manga about this. YOU MUST. No buts. Do it."

*slump* I appreciate that I have fans, but I don't think they know just how much I wish this weren't all a joke. At least I didn't go to an art school, because paired with my Japanese, I might have actually been crazy enough to go for it.

Anyway. I'm playing with a plot this weekend. Must keep myself busy (not usually a problem, haha...). Just writing, no drawing. Writing in my native tongue, on top of that.

I will dress up, walk downtown, find a coffee shop, get some tea, and type. I do so love the sound of my fingers on a keyboard.

......or at least that's the plan.

Kyaaaaaaa!

2009-10-09T05:18:04Z

Not what I was expected to happen---I got more Gakuen Alice to read!!!! >:D *gobbles it up* Kyaaaaa! I love these characters so much.

....I was already productive today. -___- I just want to go hide with this and finish it all... but I should sleep and just read more tomorrow. But it's so exciting because it's finally getting to stuff we've been waiting for all along! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D!!!

....kya!

I wanna be in a play again...

2009-10-08T04:16:27Z

Ow, why does my back hurt lately? I need to clone myself so I can give myself a proper back rub.

So! Today I finished moving, waited 45 minutes for a professor who never showed up, learned stuff about William Blake's poetry and illustrations, fit in a couple episodes of Fushigi Yuugi with my friends (whoa, I had forgotten how sadistic Nakago can be), and went to go see a play in the studio theater. Tonight was the only showing I could make, and I got there as soon as I could after class, and was the last person in line... and the person in front of me got the last ticket! Patience won out, however, and I got one of the unused usher's seats. :D

"Fuddy Meers" was pretty good, and had a cast of satisfyingly crazy characters. The basic plot might remind most people of the movie "50 First Dates". I'm not usually a fan of those kinds of movies, but I did like that one because I'm so intrigued about how memories make a person. Therefore, I enjoyed the plot as well. The set was pretty neat, too--it spun between three scenes!

I really like being able to go see university theater productions, and I find I've been able to recognize some student's set work and I've become a big fan of a couple of actors. Two of my classmates were in this one, and one was a crazy person with a sock puppet. I love it when these studio plays have characters with mental illnesses.

I want to be in a play again. I hope things might work out for me to try out for a community theater production when I go back home or something, but the problem would be finding one which my younger siblings will be able to go see me in... sure, I love the idea of doing something like "M. Butterfly", but I wouldn't even want my mom to know the plot line for that!

Speaking of, they're putting on "Cabaret" on the main stage next month. I want to see that pretty much because of all the AMVs I've seen with music from it. ^^; Of course, that would make it hard for me not to picture "Lulu" as "Lina Inverse", but...

Writer's Block: Airplane reading

2009-10-07T13:54:30Z

If you're going on a long plane or road trip, what sort of reading materials do you bring along? Is it different from what you usually read? Will you watch a trashy movie or read a bad novel or magazines just to pass the time?

View 850 Answers

On my last two trips I've taken a Japanese novel, "Uso Uso", because people are impressed to see me reading in another language and it's a good conversation starter. When it's a tiring trip I usually just bring a manga, though--I have a limited attention span for reading, and I usually like to look around the airports and see interesting things. I used to take kanji flashcards on the plane (also a good conversation starter), and after the drink service, it's a habit of mine to draw all over the napkin (which hasn't started many conversations because people probably just think I'm weird).

Yuuuukiiiii.....

2009-10-07T03:55:13Z

I was moving into a different dorm and the shelf I had my little Yuki Sohma windchime tied to fell off and crashed to the ground. The mousey part is okay, it appears, but the chime in the center broke. I don't have glue, and don't know if it would help on a ceramic piece.

;___;

It's the wind chime Madoka-chan gave me...

appaku @ 2009-09-27T11:38:00

2009-09-27T16:54:05Z

So about what I said on Friday about no more manga this weekend... ha. I lied.

I would up reading two volumes or so of Katana. It's such a feel-good shounen manga with lovable (although not totally original) character designs, interesting episodic situations that always wind up with the bad guys punished and everyone else being totally happy at the end of the chapter, and a ton of sword-related dorkiness. It's an easy read but still hits my soft spots. :D The art is mediocre and borders on shoujo, but I do find it likable.

It's so random, though... at the start of it I thought the main character was in college and American or something, but instead they say he's the Japanese guy studying abroad. And then in the following chapter, he's suddenly back in Japan starting high school. So, yeah... I guess studying abroad in America for about a day was certainly no big deal (and no, it wasn't an episode set in the future). It's little bits of inconsistency like that which make me giggle about manga like these. That and the total lack of depth to most of the villains.

Simple though it is, it's got one of those "made just for me" feels to it. :D That's how I'd describe things of "Gakkou no Kaidan", too---I certainly enjoyed them, but they're not high quality ones I'd recommend.

Aaaaaand this morning I crammed out a six page draft of a five page essay, yay for me. Lalalala, now I'll go to work and edit that later.

Rin-mane wa mo shinai

2009-09-26T15:31:29Z

Yesterday evening was full of awkward and embarrassing stuff which I had wished I didn't go to so I could have a quiet evening to myself instead of having my Mandarin incompetencies paraded around (*shakes fist in retrospect*) and later wind up becoming the good new friend of someone who gave me a long rant about people who aren't good friends... she had some good points and said I could leave any time I want to, but you don't just get up and leave in the middle of a rant like that. o___o;

But at least the evening ending with a little ego-inflation when she saw my sketch book. ***=___=*** (<~~this is my *glitter* face) She said tons of very nice things about my style, and ordered me to write some stories about romance, friendship, parents, accomplishing your dreams... ^^;; Haha, I'd love to.

Anyway. The evening left a sort of bad taste in my mouth and I hid back in my room, sang some older Japanese songs I love until quite hours started, and then I finished reading volume seven of Boku o Tsutsumu Tsuki no Hikari, the Please Save My Earth spin-off.

The feeling and art are both very, very different from the original, and when I first got this volume I flipped through it and thought "oh geez, now this is just getting weird," so I wasn't very eager to read it. When I did read it, I was reminded of how much I love this manga, too.

At least some of the weird stuff made more sense, when you figured it was all constructed within the mind of an 8-year-old who has inherited some of both Shion and Mokuren's powers and has his own psychometric powers and yet is still somewhat normal as far as personality goes. That, and high-school Alice made a little joke about how it was all fan service. XD Totally. I think the same about Mokuren and Shion coming in at the end of it, because we all know how little sense it makes to see Shion and Rin in the same scene or Alice with Mokuren, and yet we all love to see them in pictures together.

Shion is... so happy in his afterlife. o_o; And Mokuren's just bubbly.

I still love Kachiko (Mikuro's daughter) and always want to read her lines aloud just because it's such a thick Kyoto dialect. Kaputsun is someone I continue to like more and more, and I love seeing what a good friend he is to Ren. And yet, as much as I hated him through most of the original series... Haruhiko has grown to be one of my favorites!! >__< I want more adult-Haru angst! Adult Jinpachi is hardly adult at all, but Haru's seemed to have gotten darker.

And yaaaaaaaaay, Tamura-san and Ayakoooo!!!! I wanted to see their kids, though... they'd be, what, 15 and 12 or so at this point?

So... this volume came out in January... so... I wonder if the bookstore at Mitsuwa will have volume 8 in October or November when I get out there.... I shouldn't get my hopes up on them having more than volume 1, though. T_T

Aaaararararara, I have to go to work soon and I still need to figure what I'm going to write for that five page essay I have due on Monday... no more manga for me this weekend.

Tonight the moon is at Nakagoboshi!

2009-09-23T03:44:03Z

Whoa, creepy. I have my own room for now, but I just looked in my trashcan and found a used latex glove, which I'm sure neither I nor my friends have brought in.

But I guess that means someone finally fixed my sink? ^^; The water isn't backing up anymore...

So anyway! I just posted this over at the FY comm, and it's great: I GOT MY SHUKU FINALLY. Yaaaay, I'm Hatsui. At least I know now!
http://community.livejournal.com/fushigiyuugi/272920.html
Hahaha, I love reading astronomy stuff. XD One of these days I'll have to try out numerology.

I'm so full of Chinese food this week

2009-09-21T15:08:05Z

Okay, so I spent 15-20 hours or so last week hanging out with a performing troupe from China. I was originally asked to be an interpreter, but there didn't turn out to be much of a need for that at the times I was available (which is good, because I was happy just to be able to make conversation myself!). For a few of those days I supposed to be taking pictures at ceremonies, escorting audience members, or chaperoning groups of high school orchestras, but I did get to enjoy a few meals and bus rides and stuff with the performers.

They had instrumental musicians, including the er'hu, the zither, the dulcimer, bamboo flutes, and pipa (forgive me for my mix of Chinese and English terms). I have a big weakness for string instruments, be it Western or Eastern style ones. There is a line of the Yuan dynasty drama "The Soul of Chi'en Nu Leaves Her Body" that says Chi'en Nu's soul is drawn out of her by the sound of the qin (ancient zither). *__* It's a mental image that comes to mind a lot for me.

There were a few dances a group of five dancers put together, including one inspired by the Thai minority who live in China. I didn't enjoy that one as much as the tea farmers or fan dances until I saw it a second time.

There were a couple of acrobats performing something White Snake pagoda inspired, I always love watching acrobats. <3 (Seeing a living Cirque du Soleil performance is on my bucket list.)

There were a few singers, including a tenor (he was an interesting person...), a soprano who sang a German opera piece (and she totally looked the part of a Western opera singer, it was great. And she spoke German), and the one I was most excited for: a Beijing Opera singer!!

I had studied Beijing Opera (I'm only using that term because it's the most widely accepted name for it, though the translation isn't very effective) in a non-western theater class two years ago and had seen videos of performances or clips in movies, but I had never gotten to see a real-life performance. She performed a piece written by Mei Lanfang (the most famous name in Beijing Opera, it'd be easy to look him up), "Tiannusanhua" (Celestial Woman Scattering Flowers). So yes, it was the female role, which is great because that's what I had focused my term paper on. <333

Of course I had been really excited to meet them, especially the opera performer. At the reception after the first performance, though, she came back out in her make-up and seemed very aloof and unapproachable--quite intimidating, especially for a foreign who would have tried to strike up a conversation in broken Mandarin. You might not guess it, but I can be a very shy person, especially around people who I might really like or admire. In the way she carried herself, you could tell she knew she was important--after all, she had studied with Mei Lanfang's son himself and won a national Beijing Opera competition. But the short, smiling tenor with the puffed up hair seemed more approachable, so my friend and I approached him together to speak a little (we would come to regret being so friendly, but whatever). They were all busy in their own little group taking pictures, so we didn't speak with anyone else beyond saying they had a good performance.

A couple days later my teacher had arranged for a couple of them to come in and talk with us, and we had rehearsed questions like "how long have you been going abroad to perform" and "when did you start studying music", and to be honest, I glazed over when they gave us long answers. But anyway, when the two showed up, we recognized one as the pipa player (who my friend idolized a bit) and the other seemed nice, but it didn't come to mind right away who she was--that was because she wasn't in her make up! It was the celestial maiden! :D We'll just say the 'dan' from here on out, because that's the term for the female roles.

We had also written paragraphs with our opinions on Chinese music or theater, but towards the end we only had time for one, so I spat out my important points real fast--saying I had studied it a bit before, which plays were my favorites, that I had never seen it in real life, and ended with a quick "thank you for coming to perform it so I could finally see it in real life!".

After class, she asked about how they had taught it, and I clarified that we only learned about it, and not how to do it, so I didn't actually know very much, and that was about as much as we said that day.

The following day I went out to a dedication at a high school, and I was silent when I showed up at the hotel the next day. I had no idea what to say to any of them, so I just played with the camera I was borrowing to make myself seem busy... and I sat by myself on the bus because I didn't want to bother anyone, which I knew I'd regret. But we had to consolidate seats, once we got equipment for the acrobats in, so the dan sat next to me and we talked for a couple hours on the way there. :D :D :D :D It was a polite conversation. When we got there and everyone was busy setting up, there really wasn't anything I could help with, so I shyly asked if I could watch her put on her makeup.

>___< I hope that wasn't awkward for her, but I didn't want to regret not asking! So I pretty much sat down in the dressing room silently watching her put it on. I had to go leave for lunch before she started with the hair pieces, but when I came back she was still in the process of putting accessories in the wig.

After the events of the afternoon, we sat together on the bus again, and this time I asked if I could get a picture with her on Friday while she was in costume (once I had my own camera with me instead of one I was borrowing). She agreed, and I said "you'll have to show me how to pose with you like dan character." And so she excitedly started teaching me hand positions. ^_____^ They hurt a bit at first, but every few minutes she'd cut into our conversation with "let's review!". She also tried explaining some of Mei Lanfang's acting theories to me, but it all went over my head besides yin and yang.

Then on Friday my friend and I were both supposed to go with them to Chicago... but we weren't informed that they were leaving two hours earlier than originally scheduled, even though someone was supposed to have told us. ;___; And I didn't call to ask about the meeting place until 15 minutes after they had left.

So I cried... I felt bad that my friend, who was even more excited than I was, wouldn't be able to go, and that it would seem like I flaked out when I had said I was going with them...

But I have a wonderful professor who called a couple of Chinese students who weren't leaving until six hours later, and he arranged for us to ride with them. *glitter* SO grateful.

So we missed the morning performance and didn't get to serve as tour guides, but we were there for the evening performance. And once again, we were kind of useless because they had local volunteers to do escorting and stuff, and the performers didn't really need any help back stage... but eventually a couple of the men, including the tenor, asked to pose for pictures with me and my friend, which we wound up being a little turned off by but it did give us a good excuse to ask some of the other performers who didn't look too busy to come and take pictures with us.

One of the acrobats, who I could have sworn was no older than 14, was SOOOO excited when we asked her to pose with us. She was so cute! ...and my age, who'd have guessed? We had smiled at each other previously, but it seems she had been just as nervous about approaching either of us. She did come bouncing up to us right after the performance to give us her contact info and ask for ours, though. I talked with the quieter of the two acrobats later on the way to dinner, and she was also very easy to talk with. :D I'm so glad I got to make friends with the acrobats, too! Haha, they were so silly at dinner, poking each other with chopsticks...

At my table there were plenty of toasts to one another, including to "the American Beauties", and at one point the other women at the table (the soprano and a woman who was not a performer but part of the troupe) joked at one point that the dan and I seemed to resemble each other, except one of us would have had to stretch her nose out and the other would have had to smash hers down with a pan. It's funny, I've quite frequently heard Chinese and Japanese note how pointy foreigner's noses are. XD

On the way back most everyone tried to sleep on the bus, but the dan and I kept talking, and she showed me more poses and movements to practice. When I'd get them right, she'd get so giddy with excitement. I'm sure it must have been funny to see an American doing such stylized things which most people in China don't even care much about anymore. So yay, now I can somewhat imitate a dan. :D (I'd post the picture we took, but meh, it didn't turn out very well. That's okay, though.)

*giggles* Now at some point I want to get my hands on some stage makeup and try out the motions with (part of) the look.

I have her contact info to let her know next time I'm in her city... and for the men who organized the group, since they were the ones toasting us of course. But yeah. It was a lot of fun, and I think I had more conversational Chinese practice scattered through this week than the entire time I was in China last March (actually, the longest conversations I had were all in Japanese during that trip... but that's a different, special story).

I didn't get to see them on Saturday besides waving to a couple of musicians while I was busy arranging high schoolers in the morning, but I knew there wasn't much likelihood that day of getting anymore time to talk. I had been wondering about maybe seeing them off from their hotel yesterday before they head out to Europe, but that would have been pushing it, I think (especially since I didn't know what time they were leaving and I had work and homework anyway).

It was a great experience, but now I need to go back to being my usual self who has the entire day already over-scheduled starting in an hour.

A rant I usually try to avoid...

2009-09-20T05:00:44Z

First let me start by saying that I've heard tons about perverted Japanese men. I had also been warned prior to going to Japan that perhaps I should cut my hair so as to avoid attracting too much male attention, but I decided that was undue concern and ignored the advice (which I don't regret).

I want to say right away that NOT ALL MEN ARE PERVERTS. They are oriented in different ways than women and there are many men who don't feel bashful about getting into a young woman's personal space or taking any kind of politeness as a signal that it's okay to flirt with them, but THEY ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS.

I did have times in Japan when older men I'd meet in public would make an effort to talk with me, but the most worrisome of all of these was only a guy asking if I would go to the park with him, and even he didn't intrude in my personal space and it didn't take more than a couple minutes to politely get rid of him. As for train gropers, I'm not saying it doesn't happen just because I never saw it. The most contact I ever got was a man who patted my shoulder and smiled at me before stepping off the train. It was not something I welcomed, but not something that merited getting upset. There were other 'occasions' with older Japanese men I could mention, but none are particularly upsetting. There is a Japanese-style art to dealing harmonically with men you don't want bothering you, and it's always worked out gracefully for me.

(Oh man, though, European men... I took a two-week trip to Europe four years ago and came back with stories about the Italian at the fountain, the Italians in the subway station, the Portuguese man in my hotel, the drunk German on the train... for a while there I had a general dislike for European men, but fortunately I've spoken with some much more admirable European men since then. That's part of why I try not to generalize, but I'll certainly say that I find European men more worrisome than Asian men. I might group some Saudi men in with them too, though. I haven't run into the same kinds of problems with American men, and they may be partly cultural and partly because I don't have a foreign allure.)

I also do not want to make sweeping generalizations about Chinese men either, but... apparently while I was working with a visiting group from China this week, the greatest service I provided was similar to being a hostess. -____-;;

A couple of them bothered me a smidge while we were posing for pictures, and I thought "oh well, they're leaving soon anyway". Though I'm not sure how I feel about contacting them next time I'm in their city. At dinner, they sang more praises about their two "Meiguomeinu" (American Beauties) who assisted the group, but at least that was done in a more of a cultural fashion and not in a "let me use this as an excuse to put my arm around you for a photo" thing.

But then one of the men who works at my university now, who I had found to be a very professional, polite representative from China... out of no where while we were busy moving a bunch of stuff around yesterday, he started making obvious advances that I'm not quite sure how to interpret, especially since they seem so different from his usual polite small talk (not that we've had much, besides seeing each other at recent events and smiling and nodding at each other).

Him: So, do you like China?
Me: Yes.
Him: So, do you like us?
Me (a little nervous about his smile): ....?
Him: So, do you like me?

A couple other people were listening a bit and laughing, so I laughed it off politely as a joke and quickly moved to something else. But a few minutes later while we were both talking with another associated person, he started saying to me, "I think you are very..." in a way which was leaning towards another pass, so I did my polite "oh, don't compliment me" refusal and backed away, but I heard him chose the word "belle" to finish his sentence.

*sweatbead*

The others I'm not so bothered by, but this one... I didn't expect that of him, and he's someone I'll probably be working with more. I'm not concerned about it turning into a stalker situation at all, I'm just irritated that even though I try to not be impolite and unduly cautious, it all looks like an "I told you so, they all want young American women!" thing. *sulk* I understand the balance of saving face but getting firm refusal message across with Japanese men, but I guess those methods don't work as well with Chinese men.

I really, really don't want to become one of those women who sits around and complains that all men are terrible and untrustworthy, and I don't want to automatically write off men who don't deserve to be seen as perverts when they're really just trying to be nice or are just curious because I'm an America (rather than just an American woman). I may have done that with a couple of undeserving men I met in Japan who were actually very polite and didn't seem to be flirting, and I may have been too harsh... and since I essentially was supposed to be helping to host these men this time it was expected that I should be pleasant around them.

*exasperated sigh*

I'm not really afraid of it getting to the point where I might be assaulted (I'm cautious enough around any guy not to get into those kinds of situations), it just upsets me when someone I thought was trustworthy suddenly shows some strange behavior.

Especially when I try NOT to lump them all into that category.

But on the upside, my friend said to me today, I could always make a living being a trilingual hostess. -_-; That's essentially what a lot of them are looking for, it seems.

But there were lots of cool things this week, too! And I shall write about that in due time, but I got to do some pretty cool stuff!

---

My friends are continuing to watch FY, they're on the second season now. I was doing homework while episode 33 was on. I've been really appreciating a lot of elements of the series this time around even though I had thought I was jaded to it or something by now. ;__; This episode was especially touching this time; it's such a well-produced episode.

no title in mind, really

2009-09-17T14:15:19Z

The more corporate identities join Facebook, the less I'll use it.

So anyway.

Last weekend I read Endo Shusaku's "Silence" for a class about images (not history or theology, like you might expect with that kind of book!). I really liked it, and I liked that this is bringing the words "tatemae" and "honne" into the class discussion... ahh, it puts me in my element. But it gave me weird dreams last night about being in a position similar to the farm people being forced to trample on fumie. That wasn't the action involved, but it had similar drama surrounding the decision especially in regards to group mentality. In any case, it was an interesting dream and I like having memorable dreams. If anything it's a little sad when I don't have them regularly.

It's so nice to be the kind of person who can vividly remember most of her dreams. <3

---

Expect a Chinese Opera-themed entry later this week...

Haruka~~~

2009-09-15T17:42:08Z

Finished Haruka 16~

I'm a little tired of the last few volumes being filled with useless Hachiyou. -__-; It's great to see the miko and some oni finally be DOING some things too, but come on, the Hachiyou are kind of the fandom focal point...

I agree that it's starting to look a little Akram x Akane... I guess Mizuno-sensei was thinking "well, it's a romance series, so I can't have Akane NOT end up with anyone... and if I pair her with any one Hachiyou, the fans of all the other Hachiyou pairings will send a death squad after me... I guess that leaves Akram."

Come on, Hachiyou! Take some sparkly scenes for yourselves again in the next volume, it's your last chance!

I do always love the chibis in the margins. XD Shirin as the little mermaid... haha. Yeah, the casting was on a little crack for this one, but it was cute (as always). Yay for a plethora of crossovers.

Flipped through Boku-Tsuki 7... it just looks weird this time. >___< But I'm looking forward to the Haru parts. Maybe I'll get to reading it read week or so. Haha, that'd be lovely.

Writer's Block: My Dream Job

2009-09-14T23:07:45Z

What is your dream job? Do you think you'll ever have it?

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View 998 Answers

MANGAKA!!

Man. Ga. Ka.

And on a day like today I'd sure as heck like to write that down as my long-term goal, but instead I find I may be backing myself in a few corners if certain applications wind up pulling through. Sure, they're good corners to be in, but that's what they feel like: suffocating corners. Having too good of an idea about future prospects makes the future look a little dark. It's in things not being determined that I always have more hope and feel more excited.

And yes, this has been on my thoughts today as I have been told again to be more clear about how things tie into my "long-term" goals... I can't even see myself past 30, and I'm supposed to have this figured out?? x__x;

At this rate I may very well answer "enjoy studying a bunch of topics... and then write shoujo manga for a living."

Man, it's fun to dream. But my inner-conflict over doing what's smart and chasing a dream and the smart-self strangling the daydream-self and then the daydream-self being allowed to have fun sometimes which then makes the smart-self want to cry and then there's still the realization that although smart-self has lots of options still, smart-self feels any decisions seal up boxes instead of open doors.

</ rant>

*sulk*

< continue rant>

There's more inner-conflicts I could go into about smart-self and self-in-general who feels pity-stricken for people who don't have opportunities like smart-self but daydream-self doesn't care as much about that and is instead the big loser in this whole inner turmoil about how self-in-general must grow up.

So. Yeah. In conclusion, I'd be really surprised if it ever happened, and that would probably imply I got really gutsy at some point.

EDIT: But on the upside, my Haruka 16 and Boku-Tsuki 7 came in today. ;__; I'm so happy. Must get lots of work done this week before I can allow myself to touch them further... all I saw is that it looks like the plot in Haruka hasn't moved very fast and that Tamura-san is in Boku-Tsuki finally.

DORKY FY POST!!

2009-09-12T15:40:52Z

So, I met my 4-nights-of-swimming-for-at-least-half-an-hour goal. Go me!

And I did have a goal for next week. I had just been mentioning how determined I was to give blood and some point, and then I I noticed a sign for a blood drive. *sweatbead* So I called to make an appointment, and there wound up being a bunch of phone calls back and forth, and ultimately they decided that I shouldn't give until next March because last March I rode a train through an area of China which might have had a malaria risk. So... I'm off the hook. But once again, I was willing!

Speaking of China (or ancient China), those two girls and I had ourselves another FY marathon again and finished the first season.

I have to work to keep my mouth shut on some parts, but I keep wanting to laugh out loud at some parts. Like when Nuriko kisses Tamahome, I want to laugh both because I know Nuriko is a guy (and my friends don't) and because I know that only the first of many, many other kisses Tamahome will receive from celestial warriors (or priestesses).

Hhmm, between him and Miaka:
T: Nuriko, Miaka, Yui, Soi, Nakago
M: Tamahome, Hotohori... Tasuki sorta, Amiboshi sorta, I forget about Tomo and Nakago...

Also, any time "Chiriko" was on the screen being "Chiriko" makes it hard not to laugh. I had to work hard if I was saying anything to make sure that I didn't call him Amiboshi. Haha, and the girls had great reactions to him once they found out he was a traitor.

The girls both started out as Hotohori fans and have both turned into Tasuki fans. As we're watching, I have suddenly found myself preferring Hotohori/Miaka over Tamahome/Miaka, even though I've never shipped that way much at all.

I'm glad we made it as far as the last episode of the season before one had to leave. I was doing my best to stay shut up, and it was gratifying to hear them say "oh no, don't tell they're all dead!!"

So after she left, I stayed behind with the other one so she could try out more ancient-China hairstyles on me. It turned into full-on improvised Tang Dynasty cosplay and concubine make-up... I should get those pictures off my camera.

T__T I totally do not feel motivated to start working these grant drafts, but I gotta... I gave myself Friday to goof off. This week will be busy because there is a performing troupe coming to my school, but they don't speak any English, so I'm going to be backstage and traveling to a couple places with them to try and assist (though I'm afraid I'll blank on all my Mandarin...). Anyway, there will be at least one Chinese opera performer playing a woman's role, so I'm looking forward to finally seeing one of these performances in real life. :D (Granted, I might see it three or four times in this one week.)